This Trump ‘locker room’ banter controversy is really making me glad I know the decent men I do. Men who naturally see women as fellow human beings and who realize that masculinity is completely unrelated to machismo. It’s the real Lynx effect – and boys, it can never be sprayed on. And you just know Trump and his ilk would be the first to call a woman with a healthy, active discriminating sex life outside of a monogamous relationship – one that’s based on pleasure alone and not a desperate search for love – a whore.
But sex is only impure, you see, when it’s a weapon or a bargaining tool, and I can’t think of anything more sordid than fucking a guy because he drives a certain car or has money or power. Don’t debase it by making it a tawdry transaction; don’t commodify it for goodness sake. So often sex is embroiled with shame or guilt, or unconsciously indulged in as a shortlived and desperate salve for low self-esteem. Frequently it’s poisoned with implicit negotiation.
So rare is the exuberant, sensual celebration, unsullied by any schemes, calculations or inadequacies we might bring to it. Men like Trump could never understand this because for him it’s always about a power relation, tipped in his favour. I would bet he’s never had an honest, authentic sexual experience in his sad ego-driven life. A union between equals with an empowered woman would be far, far too scary for him. The women who fuck men like this are truly prostituting themselves, and losing their integrity is a poor bargain.
Other women will fuck whatever lumbering specimen stumbles into view due to very low self-esteem for which they deserve nothing but sympathy, but for those women looking for virility not validation, a vibrator is preferable to the village idiot – every time.
Alison Banville is co-editor of BSNews and a long-time campaigner on human rights, animal rights, political and environmental issues. She has written for The Guardian, The New Statesman, Lifescape Magazine and London arts paper, Snipe. For BSNews she has written the series, What’s Wrong With Channel 4 News, among other pieces, and she has a book deal with Zero Books to write on the corporate media. She is also a singer and has performed precisely two stand up comedy gigs to date.